Breathing in, I calm my body.
Breathing out, I smile.
I feel like I have had this on repeat a lot lately. Luckily, I have found it successful in bringing me down off the ledge. Thankfully...
Breathing in, I calm my body.
Breathing out, I smile.
I have learned a lot about myself this month. Some good and some bad.
The GOOD
I will always have people in my life that are filled with negativity. I can control this to an extent but not fully. With this in mind, I now know that I can fully control how I react to them. I will say that this is my biggest achievement of this month. And I was tested... a lot. I was able to stay mindful and centered through out all that was thrown at me. More like slung, really hard. I did this with the practice of a lot of breathing. Breathing is underrated. Breathing is good.
My body is much stronger than it was at the beginning of this month. With the help of yoga, pilates, supplements, drinking more water, getting more sleep, etc. I just feel lighter all over. I had originally felt this way when I took gluten out of my diet back in September but the feeling eventually went away. It is an amazing feeling that I am hoping to sustain.
I am slowly getting rid of the JUNK in the house and attempting to simplify my surroundings. B should be on an episode of "Hoarders". I wonder if you can get someone on "Intervention" with only a shopping addiction. I am going to work on a cross over episode. I am just playing. I love him dearly. But when he is out of town (a lot) next month, I plan on purging. I really hope he doesn't read this...
The BAD
I would say that my biggest "flaw" is that I am extremely habitual. The ritual or consistency of doing something is harder for me to break than the act itself. If that makes sense. One habit that I have had for the past few years is that once the child goes to bed, I enjoy 2 cocktails. They are not stiff cocktails. Just a splash. This is something I thoroughly enjoy. I sit down in front of the TV or read a book and I have 2 drinks (never more). Nightly. In the beginning of this process, all fired up, I did pretty well breaking up this habit. But it has been very difficult to break altogether. And even though this is something I enjoy, the habit of it scares me a bit. I have never been that crazy party girl or some binge drinker. I DID have one night in high school that left me walking home in the middle of the night holding a bottle of Southern Comfort in one hand and 1 shoe in the other. After that, I actually didn't drink at all again until I was 22. Since then I feel like I have been a very responsible drinker albeit a consistent one. I KNOW that this is a habit I need to break. But I haven't. But I am aware and I am working on it. I still feel that I kind of failed in regards to this portion of my resolutions. That feeling kind of stinks...
Don't feel alone!! I write this as I enjoy my first of two small glasses of wine that I have pretty much every night. This is when I get to sit after I put the 17 month old and the 12 year old to bed and wait for the one who peddles liquor for our living to come home at midnight. Over the 10 years I spent as a single Mom and now married into the industry, it remains my most difficult challenge. You and I both will conquer this.
ReplyDeleteThe Hoarders comment hits home, just because I married one as well. My biggest wish is to be able to park my car in my garage like I used to. I secretly don't shut our garage door some days in hopes that on my way home one day I would see someone walking out of my neighborhood in one of Theo Huxtable sweater, carrying an old computer, a Corona sign and yes, a Ghetto Blaster hopefully blaring a Peter Gabriel song.
Ha! Sounds like our garage. And house. And cars. Sigh...
ReplyDeleteWith that said, it has gotten so much better over the last few months. I see the light at the end of the tunnel.