my sister my guide.

My 26 year old sister just celebrated her 3 year birthday with AA. The first time she tried getting sober she was 22 years old. She knew she had a problem, had hit her rock bottom, and was seeking help. After a week in the hospital (detoxing), she was released into the world with a fragile set of tools to start her new sober life. She relapsed 4 months later. She described hitting her second rock bottom as happening so fast it was like the years 15-22 packed into 2 months. She wouldn't go back there again. I have always adored my sister, but in the past 3 years she has been such an inspiration to me, there are really no words to describe how much I look up to her, rely on her for advice and wisdom, and needless to say, my sister has taught me a lot about detox. We spend many hours on the phone dissecting problems I have with friends, a boyfriend, now a husband, a family member, myself, and she always seems to know the right answer, the healthy way to deal with life. I went to an AA meeting with her once and was shocked to realize that the lessons learned in AA are lessons that every one of us can benefit from. We all have addictions in our life that manifest in different ways. I truly believe after knowing my sister that everyone of us has some sort of addiction. When I was trying to decide what to write about for this post, of course I immediately called my sister to discuss. I told her I felt like last year was kind of a detox year for me. I got married and merged a household. This in itself forces you to work as a team and de-clutter your life into a combined new life. It was liberating letting all that old crap go, and so rewarding to share my life with my husband, like having a clean slate. I also completely cut out social smoking. I had been smoking with girlfriends since I was 15. At the age of 32 I was regretting my choice the next morning every time. On a trip to Memphis with my husband, I saw a group of 40-something women and their husbands in the lobby of the Peabody. They were like us (but older) dressed up, drinking wine, having a night out on the town. The ladies all had their iphones and their Marlboro Lights. That's it! I decided. I do not want to be like that, and I'm heading down that path. I'm not all that far from 40 and I didn't want to be one of those women. My sister asked me, "what makes you unhappy about yourself". Apparently if you can answer that question you can start searching for the root cause and then start making a change. I decided the number 1 thing right now that made me unhappy was my lack of confidence. It's been a little daunting moving to a new place (from Birmingham to Austin) knowing no one, working from home, and trying to get my photography business re-vamped. I really related to Andrea's post about detoxifng the notion of failure and I have already started trying to implement her plan. It's definitely day by day, and this 30 degree weather isn't helping, but I know I can work on this and my sister will be there to support me 100%. I want to thank Ashley for inviting me to participate in this project. It could not have come at a better time. Bring on 2010!

I will leave you ladies with the serenity prayer (which I learned from my sister): God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference.

Side note, my sister got married on December 27th at my parents home. What a young beautiful blushing bride; I am bias, but I think she lights up the world! You can see for yourself here: http://jessicaotwell.com/