Progress Report...

The wedding is over and now the fun begins! So on working on this month's goal to combine our finances, we have decided to put all of our income into a joint checking account and then transfer a percentage out into our own personal checking accounts. Mainly, the reason we decided on a percentage is because our incomes vary each month.
We have our joint checking account set up and debit cards for each of us. We went through the last two months of statements to track where our money goes and total costs for fixed bills. I did notice we go out a lot(!) but since I am not focusing on cutting our budget, I am going to ignore it for now.
Next step, get all the paperwork for automatic withdrawals. I have the paperwork for my paycheck and car payments but there is a lot more we need. I am thinking we should probably send it in all at the same time to prevent some coming from here and some there. Our goal is to get all the paperwork sent and have the mortgage moved over after the honeymoon, May 2nd.
I have been pretty impressed with my husband’s (ekk..still so new) cooperation in this process. I thought he would be a little territorial over his money or dragging his feet to get the process started, but he has been a prince through it so far. Side note: the other day he called our hotel in Hawaii to make a golf tee time and I heard him say. “I will have my wife with me and I would like her to be able to join me for the day” I almost started crying, I am someone’s wife.

Two Things

Okay I want to backtrack for a moment...

Love:

As I've mentioned I am in grad school to change my career from pr to becoming a therapist. I'm just in an intro class but I'm learning a ton because they go over the entire field in small increments. Well...this week was marriage and family counseling and I was turned on to John Gottman a psychologist known for his work with marriages and relationships. And in celebration of upcoming weddings, newlyweds and just fellow married blogstresses, I wanted to share his Seven Principals of Making Marriage Work with you all. Also this site: The Art of Love & Intimacy has some great articles on making your marriage stronger.

& Money:

Now back on topic, you all should sign up on Mint.com. It's an amazing help for people who get really lost when it's time to budget. It categorizes your spending, send you reminders of payments and lays your debt to income, net worth, etc. out for you in a really easy format...all free. Do it.

...LOVE...

Over the past two months working on this blog, I have had good intentions going into each month.  Big plans with big books to read on the subject of the month.  Well I have learned something about myself in this process:  I cannot read "self help" type books.  I learn nothing and they kind of frustrate me.  So I am done with them.  I will have to get my insight from other sources and I welcome any input that can be given.  With that said, I have a few books to sell on the subject of LOVE if anyone is interested??? 

I really let the ball drop last month when it came to my goals.  Not a lot of premarital education going on on my part.  I have been so busy trying to plan this wedding in a very short amount of time, that I have let a lot of things get pushed aside, and this blog was one of them.  But the only one really getting hurt by that is me.  Anyway, a couple of days ago I was driving on the interestate and saw a billboard for this:  Twogether in Texas 
Texas now offers free marriage education classes around the state. Couples who complete a class will save $60 on their marriage license. The classes are at least 8 hours long and focus on helping couples develop communication and conflict resolution skills and other tools for a strong relationship.  I LOVE the idea of this and I am hoping I can talk B into taking a class with me. 

I know that even though the month is over, my education is not.  Loving someone is different than loving your life together, and the latter takes work and communication.  I have been blessed with this amazing man and we have a very special relationship with a great foundation to begin our lives together.  I know that we will have moments of agreement and we will have moments of distance, but what gives us our strength, is that no matter what we always come back to eachother.   I guess that is a pretty good start...

LOVE is a precious thing

As we wrap up this month of love, I am reminded just how precious LOVE really is…yesterday I found out that a friend’s husband was tragically killed in an accident. They woke up … maybe hugged and kissed each other good morning…had their coffee…usual routine. Then later that day he was gone. Just like that.

Some of us may have a perfect loving marriage…some of us may struggle with anger issues or infidelity issues…some of us may not have found “the one” yet…some us may not know how to commit or want to commit. Whatever the case may be – we weren’t promised that LOVE would be easy…it’s a journey that hopefully will lead to 10, 20, or 30 years of a fun-filled ride.

This blog is supposed to create change in our lives. Not just for the month but a change that will continue throughout the years. From now on, I want to make sure that I show my husband, family, and friends that I love them. I want them to KNOW…without a doubt…that they mean the world to me. Because let me tell ya – life is way too short. When I’m gone I don’t want them to wonder about anything.

I squeezed my honey extra hard last night. I hope you all will do the same.

Dearly Beloved...

Like Cassie, I am getting married in a few months.  I got engaged a couple of weeks ago and I will be married before the end of April.  Wow!  Wow...

I have to admit... through the excitement I am feeling, I am also kind of scared.  Like most of us here, I grew up through my parents' multiple marriages and subsequent divorces.  As I got older and had my own relationships, they all ended not because of a lack of feelings or care for them but because we had just "grown apart".  I would say that this is probably what most people cite as the demise of their relationships, marriages included.  I am committing the rest of my life to B, but I think the "I do" is just the first step.  So now, I need to figure out what it takes to keep a husband and wife together through the good and the bad, united, yet keeping our own identities.  What makes one marriage succeed and the other one fail?  I have no clue, but that is what I am going to find out this month.  Everyone goes into their marriage with hope and a heart full of love, but I want to go in with all my guns loaded.  Ok, that didn't come out right, but you know what I mean.  I am doing my marriage homework, starting now.