Road Rage…

So while I wait for the Austin Library system to get me my book, my co-worker offered to lend me a book on Spirituality that he really liked, Work as a Spiritual Practice by Lewis Richmond. Now I know what you are thinking, work and spirituality? But as I am going through a career crises anyways, let’s give it a shot. This week, travel, which is fitting as I am traveling to St Louis this week for a brutal three day trip.

First up, my commute. The average American spends 40 minutes each way getting to work, I clock in pretty close at about 30. During this drive, I am guilty of immediately calling someone to talk to, if they don’t answer, I try to listen to talk radio and if that is boring, I put in my iPod at top volume. I always, always, always have some stimulation or noise in my car.

According to Richmond, this is a great time to slow down, let up on the gas, turn the volume off and think. The slower we travel, the less bored we are by listening and seeing more. His advice is to follow a slow car and use this time to really focus on yourself. I have to say, I tried this and liked it. I turned off the cell phone and radio on my way to work this morning and just meandered in getting here. It was far less stressful than the fast lane and it gave me some time to think over the weekend and what I enjoyed as well as what I would be focusing on this week at the office. I have to say, I came in a little more calm then most Monday mornings, which is enough to keep me motivated to try another chapter in the book.

The Prophet

So I noticed things have gotten a little quiet around here, which I am assuming with our fearless leader Ashley busy traveling, maybe that is why. So I am going to take this month’s theme and run with it. I would not say I am a spiritual or religious person. My church experiences were pretty much limited to punishment when I was going through my wild streak as a teenager. My mom decided the only thing to save me was youth groups and Sunday church, which I would often attend after a very, very late night Saturday.

But I am older, and maybe wiser? now so maybe it is time I start focusing on the world around me. To start my travels in spirituality, I am going to read Khalil Gibran’s book, The Prophet. I have never ready anything about him before but it was recommended.

Khalil Gibran was a Christian born in Lebanon in the late 1800’s, who migrated as a child to the United States, landing in Boston. His writing is done through poems, and The Prophet itself consists of 26 poetic essays dealing with love, marriage, laws, passion, teaching, friendship, ect. I have requested the book from the Austin Public Library, so once I get it and I will let you all know my progress!

I bought a house!

I have successfully committed myself to my challenge of buying nothing on sale this month. I honestly haven't bought anything other than groceries, some clothes for my son and well, a house! We close this Friday and move over the weekend. My husband and I saved for almost 6 years for our down payment and now we feel more grown up than ever since we're putting 20% down on our new home.

The real challenge has been wanting to buy all new furnishing and things to fill said house because all that we have had are hand-me-downs that I'm getting rid of and starting over. I had a huge yard sale last weekend and made $1200! If you're needing extra cash, a yard sale is an excellent way to make some change. I sold some furniture on Craigslist the previous week for things I didn't feel like haggling over. We have a small budget for furniture that we need right away and I've made a (big) list and highlighted what is urgent. And the rest will just have to wait. Fortunately, I have a trip to Ikea in Atlanta planned for mid may, and I enjoy going to flea markets too. I love mixing rustic with modern, and I have a newer found interest in scouring design mags and hacking what I can. I'm really happy and fortunate that my husband and I have been financially thrifty and on the same page over the last few years and saved like crazy. Our American Dream is coming to fruition!

Denial ain't just a river in Egypt...

I need an intervention. A wake up call. I’ve been trying to think of what to write and where to begin but it isn’t coming easy. In simple terms; I like to spend, my husband likes to more, we have no money to spend (two people zero incomes), we live on credit, we buy what we want when we want it, we ignore the problem, our debt is steadily climbing into the six figures and an end isn’t in sight. I don’t know what more to say. I can’t bring myself to look at how bad it really is because it makes me sick to my stomach and keeps me up at night. I need to get a job, but I want to be home with my children right now. So I think I’ll just ignore it some more…

Progress Report...

The wedding is over and now the fun begins! So on working on this month's goal to combine our finances, we have decided to put all of our income into a joint checking account and then transfer a percentage out into our own personal checking accounts. Mainly, the reason we decided on a percentage is because our incomes vary each month.
We have our joint checking account set up and debit cards for each of us. We went through the last two months of statements to track where our money goes and total costs for fixed bills. I did notice we go out a lot(!) but since I am not focusing on cutting our budget, I am going to ignore it for now.
Next step, get all the paperwork for automatic withdrawals. I have the paperwork for my paycheck and car payments but there is a lot more we need. I am thinking we should probably send it in all at the same time to prevent some coming from here and some there. Our goal is to get all the paperwork sent and have the mortgage moved over after the honeymoon, May 2nd.
I have been pretty impressed with my husband’s (ekk..still so new) cooperation in this process. I thought he would be a little territorial over his money or dragging his feet to get the process started, but he has been a prince through it so far. Side note: the other day he called our hotel in Hawaii to make a golf tee time and I heard him say. “I will have my wife with me and I would like her to be able to join me for the day” I almost started crying, I am someone’s wife.

"Money often costs too much" ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

I’ve worked hard for what I have and am proud of it. Ok, I’ll rephrase…I worked hard for what I have, except that now I haven’t worked in 3 years and it’s not all mine. And I think about this every single day.

After raising my daughter alone and finally becoming successful enough in my field to start my own business, I met my *amazing* husband and became pregnant 4 months after our wedding. At that point, owning my own business meant I would have the flexibility later on of raising our child without being in daycare full-time as my daughter was. Unfortunately, I was put on total bed rest with him at 14 weeks and remained in bed until his birth. Bye-bye business and bye-bye income, I was forced to shut my business down.

As the “breadwinner”, I planned on returning to work after my son’s birth, but unforeseen health problems with him have kept me home for the past 19 months. I don’t see things letting up in the near future, as he remains under a Dr’s care for many issues at this time. My *amazing* husband has a great job, and has been there for 10 years. He makes a respectable salary and if I were working, things would be great. But, we don’t make nearly enough money to live on as family of four and although he sometimes dislikes his job, he is complacent and not planning to a make a move anytime soon.

I have many blessings that I did not before, but it is so very, very hard on me. I want to work. I need the stimulation of a professional environment, not to mention interaction with other people. I want to give my children all of things they want and deserve. I want to know that all of our bills are paid on time, every month and that there is money left over. I want to go shopping just once, just for me. I want to sell my townhome and buy a house with a yard, and give my children room to roam and have friends over without being embarrassed; it’s hard to keep up in this community. I want health insurance for myself. I want to travel again, I haven’t been out of our city in 3 years.

I am making little steps, I have paid off every bit of outstanding debt that we owe (excluding my townhome) in hopes of obtaining a mortgage on one income. My kids are well cared for, we have paid off both of our vehicles. I coupon like a champ and often challenge myself to see how much I can save each week. I remain in contact with many people from my previous industry and make sure to keep our relationships open and friendly. I am exploring options of how to work at home.

My goal for this month…try, try, try not to worry so much. Or find a prescription for Xanax. Just kidding. I am going to try to find a way to generate some more income for our family and hopefully put me, my children and my *amazing* husband just one step further in the right direction.

Two Things

Okay I want to backtrack for a moment...

Love:

As I've mentioned I am in grad school to change my career from pr to becoming a therapist. I'm just in an intro class but I'm learning a ton because they go over the entire field in small increments. Well...this week was marriage and family counseling and I was turned on to John Gottman a psychologist known for his work with marriages and relationships. And in celebration of upcoming weddings, newlyweds and just fellow married blogstresses, I wanted to share his Seven Principals of Making Marriage Work with you all. Also this site: The Art of Love & Intimacy has some great articles on making your marriage stronger.

& Money:

Now back on topic, you all should sign up on Mint.com. It's an amazing help for people who get really lost when it's time to budget. It categorizes your spending, send you reminders of payments and lays your debt to income, net worth, etc. out for you in a really easy format...all free. Do it.